Being the first-born, I look after my mother

At age fifteen, I start going out and fall maniacally in love with men

At age sixteen, I start smoking pot, and escape from my mother’s terrorizing reign

At age seventeen, I run away from home

At age eighteen, I am raped by a man while drunk

At age nineteen, I can no longer have children

At age twenty, I experiment with heroin, cocaine, and spirituality

At age twenty-one, I use mushrooms, LSD, pot, and tranquilizers, and enjoy my hallucinations

At age twenty-five, I violently break off my connections with my husband and the outside world

At age twenty-six, my sister has become a heroin addict

At age twenty-seven, I am clean and alone

At age thirty, I comfort myself with homegrown cannabis and lock myself into a closet for months at the time

At age thirty-two, I am addicted and psychotic without treatment

At age thirty-nine, I go into rehab, build a ship, and survive on the thought of love

At age forty, I work as a caregiver in a rehab program

At age forty-three, I fall back on the use of homegrown cannabis as a substitute for love

At age fifty-one, I am compulsively in love and psychotic

At age fifty-one, I attack my mother

At age fifty-one, I am sober