I am the daughter of a violent drinker and an anxious mother

At age three I receive medical attention for the first time after my father’s violence, without my mother protecting me

At age six I am raped by my father and placed in a children’s home for a year

At age nine I am raped by my sixteen-year-old cousin and my mother brands me a liar and the traitor of the family

At age eleven I learn to smoke hash and feel good in the company of outsiders

At age eleven I am sent by my parents to a closed psychiatric unit, fight desperately against it and am given tranquilisers to keep me quiet

At age thirteen I survive my first suicide attempt, am disowned by my father and flee from the city together with a friend

At age thirteen the friend gives me my first shot of heroin and takes me with her to walk the streets

At age thirteen I am a drug addict, move in with my pimp and live in shame

At age fifteen I hope that my divorced mother will take me in and am rejected

At age sixteen I marry my pimp

At age seventeen I fall in love with a male drug addict, am happy, clean, and become a mother

At age nineteen I go back to heroin and prostitution

At age twenty-one I provide for my lover, who is in jail, and my son, by dealing

At age twenty-one I break off contact with my father

At age twenty-two I am diagnosed as having cirrhosis of the liver and I break off my first course of treatment

At age twenty-three my boyfriend is released and we escape to Germany because of my court case

At age twenty-three I am arrested, convicted, and given a long prison sentence

At age twenty-three my boyfriend leaves me

At age twenty-three I understand and forgive my mother’s betrayal

At age twenty-four I am depressed, deliberately harm myself, and seek help