Hester van de Beuken [1958] NL

Biography

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I am my mother’s whipping boy, and an unruly, depressed child

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At age six, my aunt and uncle wish to adopt me

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At age seven, I am not yet toilet trained

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At age seven, I am raped and beaten at the hospital by the doctor who is treating me

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At age thirteen, I run away from home for the first time

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At age fifteen, I start drinking alcohol

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At age sixteen, my relationship ends, and I try to shoot myself

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At age twenty-two, I wander on the streets and go home in order to drink

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At age twenty-nine, I marry my beloved

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At age thirty-seven, I wander on the streets, shut up into myself

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At age thirty-eight, I want to drown in the sea

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At age thirty-nine, I break with my family and my husband

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At age thirty-nine, I deny my addiction, resist treatment, and escape confinement in anxious-psychotic condition

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At age forty, I wander on the streets, depressed, neglected, furious, and ashamed, and drink myself into a stupor

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At age forty-one, they keep me asleep for a year

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At age forty-four, I for the first time stick out psychiatric treatment, am being sent away, and end up wandering on the streets and drinking

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At age forty-seven, I live under the protection of a drug rehabilitation program, can for the first time feel myself, and commit myself to a man

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At age forty-seven, I am committed to a psychiatric hospital to be treated for depression and grow rigid, motionless, with fear

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At age forty-seven, my beloved leaves me

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At age forty-eight, I live in gloom, without any defense

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At age forty-eight, my demented dad, my ally, dies

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At age forty-eight I am declared mentally fit, Addicts Care Services arrange admission to psychiatric ward, then I’m chucked out without any explanation and find myself on the street.

From a dialogue with the participant and with the aid of the matrix a biography of basic facts is developed, which portrays the person’s life as a sequence of events and decisions, of acts and reactions.

The texts of the biographies are spoken by the participants themselves, and recorded for the audio modules of the Baby Dolls and the project’s audio archive.